I am really sick of going into the local GameStop – where’s there’s mysteriously always only one employee working behind the counter – and picking up a game or two before being bombarded with stupid questions. Bear in mind that this is a word-for-word transcript. This actually happend at the local GameStop in my neighborhood.
GS Employee: How ya doin’ today? Find everything alright?
Me: Yeah, actually, I found exactly what I was looking for (Burnout Paradise).
GS Employee: *Rings up the game* What’s the number for your PowerUp Card?
Me: I don’t have one.
GS Employee: Would you like to sign up for one, or does anyone in your family have one?
Me: Uh, not that I know of.
GS Employee: You can sign up for one right now. You can get one for free or you can get a premium membership for only ten dollars.
Me: Nah, that’s okay.
GS Employee: Okay, well, if you ever change your mind, you can get one any time. *Rings up the game* Did you want to get a one-year warranty on this game?
Me: No, thanks.
GS Employee: Do you want to put a dollar down for disc protection for the game in case it ever gets damaged?
Me: No, thanks, I’m just trying to get this game and get out of here.
GS Employee: Okay. Are there any upcoming games that you want to put five dollars down on today? There’s a new Fast & Furious game coming out, GTA V is supposed to come out in September.
GS Employee: *Doesn’t give me a chance to respond* You sure? You know, it’s only five dollars and you’ll get it as soon as it comes out and pay for it – it’s usually $59.99 – or you can come in and make payments on it whenever you like.
Me: No, I’m okay. None of those games really pique my interest.
GS Employee: *With a straight face* What does pique your interest?
Me: Uh…*Did he seriously just ask me that?*
GS Employee: I’ll bet you like wrestling games. You came in here and got SmackDown vs RAW a couple weeks ago. You like wrestling games, don’t you? Well, you know, you can pre-order WWE 2k14, it’s coming later this year.
Me: Dude, I’m not trying to sound rude, but there’s a line of people behind me, so can you just ring up the game so I can leave?
GS Employee: That’s fine.
*He rings up the game and I pay for it*
GS Employee: And remember, you can always go on GameSpot.com *He really said this* and complete our customer survey for a chance to win a hundred-dollar gift card.
Me: Okay, thanks.
GS Employee: And you can always come back and sign up for a PowerUp Card for 10% discounts on any used game purchases.
Me: Why are you guys so pushy about these cards? What, does the district manager tie PowerUp usage to your monthly bonus?
GS Employee: *Just stares at me with a straight face*
Me: *I roll my eyes and walk out*
In all honesty, GameStop…you guys suck.